Are You Kidding Me!?
Coffee Quitters
Here’s a message to all of you who are trying to quit drinking coffee: Please don’t.
In the past couple of months, a number of my friends have been proclaiming their independence from coffee. Where this is coming from all of the sudden, I do not know. And I don’t agree with it one bit. Coffee is GOOD! It tastes good, it’s warm and comforting, and it gets you going. It has a funny way of turning 7 a.m. into 11 a.m. in no time. It’ll get you through your morning drive and your awaiting emails. It will keep the morning drool from dripping on your notepad during the 8 a.m. meeting. And, after a big carb-filled meal it’ll carry you through the 3:00 hour coma-free.
“Why do you want to stop drinking coffee?” I ask every one of them. The answer is always the same – because they don’t want to be dependent on caffeine to get through the day. Now, if the answer was “because I want to detox,” or “because it makes me fat,” or “because I’m too wired to sleep,” I might understand. But just because you don’t want to want to drink it anymore? C’mon!
If you want to quit something, quit eating fattening food, quit gossiping about your coworkers, quit wasting your time in front of the television – but PLEASE, for the love of God, don’t stop drinking coffee. For the sake of all of us who have to deal with you and your grumpy, decaffeinated be-hind, PLEASE stop quitting coffee.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )1-800-COMCAST, it’s on my speed dial
The cable in my bedroom has been out for the past week. My work week was too busy to leave for cable repair, so I had to schedule my appointment for Sunday. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, as I don’t watch much TV anyway. However, last week I was looking for any excuse I could find not to finish unpacking my house or attacking the ridiculous mound of clean laundry that needed to be sorted, folded, hung and donated. Some King of Queens reruns and bad reality shows could have been a big help.
So this morning the cable guy came. This is the third time since I moved in on September 18 that a cable guy has come to my home. The people at Comcast know me personally, by now (including Ben Stein and Shaquille O’Neal). I call, press a million buttons and when the woman picks up the line, she asks me how Braden is doing, what’s new with my parents and how the tuna casserole turned out.
But really. I had scheduled this appointment because after half an hour of the phone representative trying to fix my problem via remote signals, I still had a black screen with a blue box saying “Please wait a moment. This channel will be available soon.” NOT TRUE. When Paul (I know his name because he was answering his personal cell phone and having conversations while in my bedroom) arrived, I learned that the reason my cable box was lying to me was because – I can’t believe I’m about to admit this publicly – the cable was not plugged into the box. There it was, all week long, laying on the floor behind my dresser not attached to anything. It was feeding Keeping Up with the Kardashians right into the bedroom air I breathe.
Paul assured me that this happens all the time, but I can’t believe that there are more people out there who have done something this asinine — at least not on Paul’s route. It just can’t be. Don’t you love when you call tech support for something and they’re like “have you checked to see if it’s plugged in?” And you’re thinking “what kind of moron do you think I am???” Well, this is the kind of moron I am. The kind that unpacked boxes and put away laundry when I could have been channel surfing and brain rotting.
Paul was a nice guy. And not at all creepy like the last service tech I had. I unpacked boxes with a box cutter in one hand and my phone with 911 dialed in the other hand when the last guy was in my house. Seriously. He gave me his service tech number so I could request him again if I ever had another problem. I used his service tech number alright – to request NOT to have him in my home again! Anyway, back to Paul. So nice. He did not make fun of me at all, which had to be hard on him. And he switched my box out for a new one. You know, to make his visit worthwhile, I’m sure. And he “ran a test” on the other box downstairs. Then, and this is what kills me, he said “since we had to come out twice for service in such a short period of time, we’d like to offer you free HBO for 3 months or a $25.00 credit.” WHAT!?!?? Since when does being a complete idiot pay off in free anything? Maybe THIS is why there are so many people out there doing it!!!
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my life, incomplete. 